Girl, you got my pants on the rise like Apple stock.Is that your debt ceiling rising or are just happy to see me?.How do you get multiple girls at one time? Tell them about network externalities.I need you to help me fight some inflation.Girl, you’re the best performer in my diversified portfolio of booty calls.Girl ill boost your moral like Enron boosted the economy in the 90’s.I think that hole in your balance sheet needs a liquidity injection.Hey, let’s talk about our private goods.It’ll bring us closer and you can own all of me. I’ll issue us a bond with equity warrants.Hey girl, my Patronus is a financial statement.
Your demand for me should be inelastic there are no substitutes.My love for you is like a perpetuity, it’ll never end.Hey girl, you interested in receiving some liquidity tonight?.Your presence is one big positive externality.Collect interest on that if ya know what I mean. Im down like the stock market, now ride me to the top.Baby, you’re not an option - you’re totally a future!.Are you the fed because I want you to manage my inflation.I’m big enough to supply the entire market. The national debt isn’t the only thing that’s rising.I would like to show you all my outstanding positions.How can I lower your barriers to entry?.Let’s go to bed and try to disprove the law of diminishing marginal utility.You’re the Biggest investment that I’ve ever made.I wish I could be your derivative so that I could lie tangent to your curves.I think you and I would have excellent potential output.I’d never withdraw my deposits without at least offering a wraparound. You and I should be in the same industry so that we could merge horizontally.Let’s play a game where going out with me is the dominant strategy.How about a little horizontal integration?
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